{Attitude for Gratitude}

I've had a lot of things on my mind lately. None of which have made it to my blog, or the small idea book, or even my one-line-a-day journal. In fact, I think the last one liner I wrote about my "exciting" life was back in mid-September. I suck at keeping up.

It has been an amazing Thanksgiving holiday though. Before the food frenzy even began, three people I love dearly asked me for recipes to serve their family and friends on Thanksgiving. That's a lot of trust. Plus, they all gave me rave reviews after the chowing was done, which tickled me pink. I love to feed my own family, but knowing the love was passed on is exciting and, in a crazy way, fulfilling.

I also skipped all Black Friday shopping yesterday for some outdoor time. When the weather is 65 degrees at the end of November, it's time to thank Mother Nature by soaking it up. The boys and I went on an outdoor hiking adventure in the 100-acres of woods around the grandparent's house. It was an adventure alright. I never got to be the leader, the dog jumped into the pond, there were some tears over a nasty thorn bush, and a random tick fell out of my underwear (alive and happy, I might add!) after we finally made it back to the house. It was a pretty good morning. Then to top it off, I got to discover a new hiking trail at Binder, all by myself during afternoon naps, with a great winding path and even better views. I truly believe the smell of cedar can heal almost anything.

So am I thankful? You bet. I'm most thankful for being able to slow down a bit and enjoy the really good stuff. My family. Nature. Great food. Friends. A good read. Snuggles on the couch. A warm home. Love. Plus all the great adventures I get to have along the way. I'm blessed. No, scratch that. I'm super blessed. And as frustrating as life becomes along the way or as frazzled as I may be in a moment, there are such big pockets of happiness tucked in between. I just have to embrace them. I hope you will, too.

{Autumn Bliss}

In honor of the season finally changing today (not by the calendar, by the way, but by the first chill in the air), I tried a new autumn recipe tucked away in a dusty, old cookbook. It was simple, but delicious. While I may be the only one in my house that celebrates change with baked goods and giddiness, I'm sharing the recipe with all of you. You never know when you might need something delicious and new in your life. Happy autumn, friends!

Apple Crunch Muffins

courtesy of Celebrate Autumn Cookbook

1 1/2 cup sifted flour

1/2 cup sugar

2 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

1/4 cup shortening

1 egg, slightly beaten

1/2 cup milk

1 cup Granny Smith apples, diced

Topping: 1/4 cup brown sugar, 1/4 cup chopped walnuts, and 1/2 tsp. cinnamon (mix together)

Sift flour, sugar, baking powder, salt and cinnamon in mixing bowl. Cut in shortening until fine crumbs form. Combine milk and egg. Add to dry ingredients along with apples. Stir just to moisten. Spoon batter into muffin cups, filling 2/3 full. Spring with brown sugar topping. Bake at 375 degrees for 25 minutes, or until golden brown. Makes 12.

My Music Manifesto

I'm crazy for music. I'm all over the place in musical interests, too, which is why my ipod playlists are a big, hot mess. 1930's big band jazz. Love it. Eminem. I've got a thing for him, too. Bluegrass. Yes, please. Black Eyed Peas. Well, a girl does have to dance.

I do have a favorite. I don't want to offend other genres of music, but I love the acoustic singer-songwriter best. Piano or guitar, I don't really care, just bring me those touching lyrics and one strong voice to deliver the message. I'm in. Every.....single......time. I even scour NPR's World Cafe, or search itunes for long amounts of time, to find the next great song that sings to my soul. I download it, and then listen to it to over and over and over until it sinks right into the fiber of my being.

My husband calls this crazy. I just call it good music. It changes the mood of my life, simply by turning it on and turning it up, and I embrace it whole heartily. I can't imagine a world without music. For all you kindred spirits out there, I'm posting my last few downloads that I'm digging right now. I hope you will give them a listen. Even better, how about dropping me a line about what's moving your soul in music these days? I would love take a listen.

1. "Turning Tables" by Adele

2. "The Way It Will Be" by Gillian Welch

3. "Like Rock and Roll and Radio" by Ray LaMontagne

4. "My Girl Tonight" by Jon McLaughlin

5. "Room with a View" by Tina Dico

6. "Manifesto No. 1" by Shooter Jennings (careful now!)

7. "Hey Little Mama" by Frazey Ford

8. "Good Biscuits" by Memphis Minnie

9. "Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins

10. "Little Sparrow" by Audra Mae

German Flannel Sheets

I'm no great shopper. Oh, I love a good deal, don't get me wrong, but the best stuff I own has come from gracious hand-me-downs from friends or family. You love my sweater? Probably one from my friends in KC. Admire my king size bed? Best friend, Jamie. Giddy over my vintage Archie juice glasses? My mom. It's all good stuff. Plus, it's free.

So, last winter, I surprised myself by ordering some semi-expensive, heavy duty German flannel sheets online that had more than 3,000 customer reviews. All good. All raving about these amazing sheets. I like flannel sheets, I really do, but I was pretty sure I was going to have an out-of-body experience once they sheets were snug on my bed. That's what people kept telling me, over and over again, in these reviews.

Friend to friend, these sheets are something else. Spectacular. It wasn't out of body exactly, but I did want to stay in bed for a good long while. In fact, I'm so in love (and please don't spread this around town) that I even kept them on during the summer. I know. Flannel sheets in the summer is crazy. They just feel so great on my skin.

I've written this whole long blog about sheets to get to my next point. My sheets have a hole in them. A small hole, but still......it's devastating. I stared at it for several minutes tonight as I was making the bed trying to decide what to do. Oh, sure, it's fine for now, but I imagine this hole will get bigger with every kid that jumps on the bed or every circle in my dryer. Could it be that I may have to give these beloved sheets away for free some day?

To ensure another warm bed through fall and winter in my 100-year-old home, I acted fast this evening and ordered another set online. Different color, of course, in case the hubby inquires about the necessity of more, huh, flannel sheets. I'm starting to feel better already. In 5-7 days, or whenever they finally arrive on my doorstep, the world will be right again. Fall can officially begin.

Dreadlocks and Dreams

I would like to write a novel. There. I finally said it out loud. I even wrote it in my blog, so all my 27 followers will know my biggest dream. I would like to be a published author.

Oh, but there's more. I secretly hope this labor-of-love novel will get published. Hundreds, if not thousands, will buy it. I would then be asked to go on a book tour to spend time in quaint bookstores across the country. Coffee charged and a little road weary, I would sign every book with my name and an encouraging word. God bless. Keep reading. Don't give up on your dreams. Thanks for all the love in Wichita!

Here's the crazy thing about big dreams, my friend. You actually have to take a step and begin. It can be small, even microscopic, but it does need to be in the general direction. Just thinking it, dreaming it, hoping for it, over and over in your mind doesn't get you any closer. Believe me, I know. It helps to immerse yourself in inspiration or become disciplined in your plan of action. I've not been good with either of those things, which is why I am here instead of there.

My last writing inspiration came last April (way too long ago in the inspiration realm) when I went to see Anne Lamott in Kansas City. She was amazing. She's been a writer for more than 20 years and published countless novels. But writing is still tough work for her, every word, every chapter. Her writing advice: "Always have a pen and write what you would like to come upon." Such sweet inspiration to be in her presence for an hour.

You can bet I took myself to the front of the stage that night to have her sign my book. She signed her name with a heart at the end. I cozied up next to her for a quick picture (posted above), a memento of the evening but also a lasting reminder of my dream. Write more. Write often. Write it to completion. Then be brave enough to send it out into the world. You never know. With some hard work, it might be me one day, long dreadlocks, talking about my writing and signing my name. I can see it. Now it's time to do it.

The Gross Naked Truth

At the dinner table tonight, my 4-year-old announces that I look gross naked. He then erupts into a fit of laughter. My husband doesn't laugh out loud, mainly because he values his life and this is the second time this subject has come up this week, but he does ask him to elaborate.

"Why does Mommy look gross naked?," my husband asks.

I lean in to hear the answer, too. I mean it's not everyday someone feels confident enough to comment on your body at the dinner table.

"The bumps on her stomach are super gross (pronounced GWOS)," he says.

"Belly button?" No. "Mosquito bites?" No. He then points to his nipples. I gasp at the table. He is talking about my boobs.

"Are you talking about my boobs," I shout. "They are NOT bumps, they're boobs, a lot bigger than bumps, and all girls have them!"

"Not little girls, they don't have them," he says confidently.

"No, but big girls have them and they're not gross," I confirm.

"What about sisters? Do sisters have them?" he asks, wide-eyed and, oh, so innocent.

"Is the sister younger or older?" I counter.

"Older sister."

"Yeah, an older sister probably has them," I say.

"My Mommy looks gross naked, my mommy looks gross naked," he chants between laughs, taking the conversation full circle.

"Enough about Mommy being gross naked," my husband finally says, intervening. "Finish your dinner!"

This is our conversation at the dinner table. This is my life. I am defending my body, and its grossness factor, to a 4-year-old (and not very well, I might add). It only affirms the obvious, folks. I have no idea what I'm doing as a parent. Not a clue. Even my explanations about the world and how it works, comes out a little skewed, which leads me to believe therapy in the future is a given.

On the bright side, I do show up every day as a parent (usually dressed, in case you're wondering for the story referenced above) ready to tackle the world for my boys. I might not be perfect, but I am present. There's got to be some good in that, right? I've also still got my sense of humor, which is a good thing, because, apparently, I look really gross naked. Hee. Hee.

Excuse Me

It's been 51 days since my last blog post. I guess I could be grandiose and say that I gave up blogging for the summer to focus on a simpler life. I turned inner versus catering to the outer. I love that concept, really I do, but it's just not true. The truth is that I filled myself up with excuses this summer and didn't have time for anything else.

I stopped walking outdoors, which keeps me totally sane and physically healthy, because it was just too hot. I got behind on housework and laundry, too. No energy, you see. I also lost my patience completely right before July 4 and never got it back, but it's because I have boys and they're crazy. I've been swamped with work stuff, personal stuff and then a whole bag of "other" stuff. When you're life is this full, who has time to write and reflect?

Tonight, I walked for an hour at the Nature Center. While soaking up the beauty and putting my feet into action, it's like all those nonsensical excuses just poured out of my soul. The world came back into focus. It was quiet and quick, but it made me teary just the same. I also made a few resolutions, starting this evening, to ensure my summer of excuses doesn't turn into the story of my life.

1. Walk outside everyday. Nature heals many things.

2. Blog weekly. It doesn't have to be profound or lengthy, it just has to be real.

3. Snuggle with my kids more.

4. Cut out white sugar. It's crack that makes me fat.

5. Nurture the relationships around me.

6. Find a few moments of quiet time in my day to meditate, pray or reflect on what is real.

7. Laugh.

8. Lighten up. My life isn't a dress rehearsal, but it can still be a good time.

9. Stay hopeful.

10. Try one new adventure each month. Be open to asking others to join me.

I'm back, my friends. No more filling my belly and mind with excuses. We make our life what it is and I'm thankful for that. I've already got my alarm set to walk outside tomorrow morning. What will you be doing?