Sunday, April 29, 2012

Life Lessons of Quiche

Relationship pondering. It's one of my many downfalls. I can think a relationship to death. I often do, too. Am I doing too much? Too little? Why are they acting that way? Could I be the crazy, common denominator? And on and on and on and on...

On a kind and loving day, I would counter I just care too much. I maybe even love too much, if there is such a thing. In my more realistic moments, I realize I want people to be this certain something for me, fill a certain role, and, if the real them doesn't fit how I want them to be real for me, we are at odds. I want control, preferably of the whole entire universe, and relationships definitely fit into that realm. 

Now, before you de-friend me or stop reading my blog because I sound completely neurotic, I do have some great friendships. My longest friendship is still my best one and we've been friends for more than 20 years. I have deep friends, social friends, random Facebook friends, and even a husband I consider a friend. It's the friends that got away that I often ponder---the bad ones, the forgotten ones, the semi-dysfunctional ones. 

I had a revelation though tonight about my relationships. It happened as I was making this amazing quiche recipe my friend gave me. This friend had a guy she met online. Great guy, total fun, and they hit it off. One evening, he came over to her house and taught her how to make a stellar quiche. He blew her socks off, which then blew my socks off after eating this said quiche the next day. As it turns out, though he was a master chef, he was a complete lying, low-down, wife cheating, scum bag. He hurt her. Big time. Plus, he went right back to online dating to keep spreading his quiches all around town. What a freakin' jerk wad!

Relationships don't always turn out how we want. Terrible finale sometimes. But they also teach us valuable lessons about the world and, more importantly, ourselves. For my friend, she not only learned to make a killer quiche, but she learned she was worthy of sincere love and a quality relationship. She just has to keep seeking, giving, building, and loving.

I'm going to try to let go, too. Take my lesson (and hopefully I've learned it!) and simply move on. Less pondering. Less second guessing. Less wishing people were who I wanted them to be. If I'm honest, I'm not always who they need me to be either. This may be a revelation worth celebrating, don't you think? I've got some of Gary's "You Lying, Low Down, Wife Cheating, Scum Bag" Quiche, if you're interested in celebrating with me. Delicious.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

The Parenting Wilderness

It's been a good day. I can't say that's true of all my days in this parenting wilderness, but today I felt like I gave something great of myself---quality time. As Alana Chernila said, "I may not always be the mother I want to be, but I am theirs, and that is enough." Oh, how I hope that's true. Here was our morning adventure:

Pappaw Feeler showing us how to look for mushrooms in the forest. Kind of tricky, but we learned that mushrooms love ash trees. We didn't find any mushrooms, unfortunately, but we did learn how to pick off lots of ticks on our clothes.

Cooper and Tuck were all smiles on our outdoor adventure. I know how much nature lights up my spirit. I forget it does the same for my boys.

Another morning lesson---some plants are edible and taste like bitter lemons. Kids find this fascinating and will eat them until they feel sick. I call this photo "Tuck and his edible bouquet."

Next on the agenda was fishing in Pappaw's pond, except you have to find worms first. A dream come true for kids. We found lots of worms and then we even caught lots of fish! I was giddy, especially since I've never caught a fish before. For a moment, with all my new outdoor skills, I thought about making that commune idea a reality, but it was short lived. Turns out, cleaning fish is not my cup of tea. It's done and tomorrow we will have a fish fry for Easter. What a celebration!

I hope that each day with your kids can be a celebration. It's tough in this stressful world. I'm trying to let go of some of my guilt of not being the perfect parent and just rejoice that I'm present with my kids, even the big ole' bumbling mess that I am. I'm here and I love them. Good enough.

P.S. Plus, now I'm a super fisher woman. I think that adds a little something to my parenting prowess, don't you think? Yeah, me, too. Go me, go me, go me!!