Monday, June 22, 2009

Live, Love, Learn

Life frazzles me. I often feel like the worst mother in the world and then, something happens to solidify my title as the baddest mama on the block. If you must know, I often hold this title for weeks at a time.

For instance, just last Friday, as I was running around the house like a mad woman, I gave Tuck (our two year old) my hormone pill instead of his daily allergy pill. It was so hectic around me that I didn't even realize it until I noticed something white on his tongue. His pills are pink. I put my whole finger in his mouth, poked around, trying to swipe it out. No luck.

I panicked. I started to hyperventilate. I had my brother-in-law count all my hormone pills, TWICE, just to make sure this wasn't all a dream. No dream and one pill missing. I frantically call the doctor to find out that, other than a regular period and possibly some sore breasts, Tuck is going to be fine. In fact, I can go ahead and pop the allergy pill in his mouth, too.

For the rest of the night, my hubby makes transvestite jokes about our son. It's funny (kind of). When I finally calm down though, I start to realize that the speed of my life is causing huge mistakes. I mess up all the time. I guess I'm okay with screwing up my own life, but my kids are something else. Small. Powerless. Eager for love. I want something better for them.

But I realized tonight, that I'm a kid of somebody, too. I may be small, powerless and eager for love when I'm down, but someone wants something better for me. I'm loved unconditionally, mistakes and all, whether I choose to accept it or not. It might just be better to let it in, don't you think?


  1. Tough day for Moms. I just read my sister-in-laws blog. Apparently one of their 3 boys, Jack, called 911 and hung up. When the police returned the call Jack asked them "who they were working for" and threatened to blow them up. Before they knew it, a bitchy police woman was in their house, yelling and threatening to cart 6-year-old Jack to jail. Quite an ordeal. Glad Tuck is okay :)

  2. Sing it, sister. We HAVE to slow down. We must. Taking time for yourself and loving yourself unconditionally just sets the example for your kids to do the same, I think. And're always the baddest Mama on the block - but in the cool definition of "bad." (Hey - a little MJ tribute in there, too!)
    Big love to you, Mama.