Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A Christmas Cleansing

I ordered a colon cleansing kit for myself for Christmas. It is being shipped and should arrive in two to eight days. I am so giddy. While this may seem like a weird gift, I cannot think of a more loving gift than cleaning out years, or even decades, of crap. Literally, crap and then some other random things that I shutter to think of, if the testimonials on the website are accurate.

How does a colon cleansing rise to the top of one's Christmas list? Word of mouth, of course. A friend and I were talking about how long meat takes to get through your system, which then led to talk of cleansing and colon kits and the best products on the market and then, of course, all the people willing to put their riveting poop testimonials on a website. It is fascinating stuff, including the thought of all the yucky stuff loitering in the inside of my colon. You can see why this cleansing kit was a must have for the holidays.

This obsession with colon cleansing then got me thinking about how amazing it would be if we had a cleansing kit for all the other stuff we carry around inside us. What if we could clean out all the emotional baggage, anger, frustration, lack of forgiveness, hatred, anxiety and other fretful things buried deep? I mean these are things that have taken years to build up, just like the crap in our colon, and they clog our hearts and our minds, even if we don't want to acknowledge their presence on a daily basis.

I'm not sure how much crap will be expelled from my colon, but surely it can't be as much as all the toxic stuff that would come out if I let go of my emotional baggage. I worry about what others expect of me and then, even better, I have totally unrealistic expectations of others, especially those I love most. I will forgive you, but before that happens I will need to build a huge wall around myself. You'll be on the other side of the wall, of course, which is why we won't be able to communicate. This is the ugly part of me. It's the yucky stuff loitering in the hallows of my (mostly loving) heart.

It would be nice if their was an emotional baggage cleansing kit. We could order it on the Internet and then read all the testimonials about how people were kinder, more loving, after taking it. It would also be fun to read about their shock of what finally came out during their cleansing. I bet they would feel lighter. I bet we all would. And no matter what the cost, I bet it would be worth it to be rid of all those bad feelings holding us back from our full potential.

This Christmas, I'm going to be working on a full cleanse---one of the colon and one of the heart. I hope I'm going to be surprised by all the stuff that pours out and then I'm going to try to fill it up with better things. I absolutely cannot wait for the cleansing to begin. I'll be sure to post my testimonial after the holidays for those interested. Don't check back if you are faint of heart.


  1. Can't wait to hear how this goes!!!

  2. I love you! Your words always touch my heart and make me smile! I could use a bit of cleansing! I wish the emotional cleansing kit was available.... maybe I'll settle for a colon cleansing! Waiting on your testimonial:)